


"What a Pitiful End"

by chilled_ramune



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Gen, Palace Mishima AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 16:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21059396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chilled_ramune/pseuds/chilled_ramune
Summary: Yuuki got a calling card, but his heart was never changed. On top of that, his classmate was found dead on the same day the calling card was sent. Could the two events be connected somehow?





	"What a Pitiful End"

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally for an October prompt meme (the prompt was "guilt") so it was supposed to be short enough for me to write in one or two days. It then turned into 3k words that took me a bit longer to write but I feel like this is my best work yet (also it's my bday so please love me).

A part of Yuuki knew this was coming. Receiving the calling card before school still angered him to the point it was all he could think about for the rest of the day - after everything he did for the Phantom Thieves, they thanked him by targeting him?! - but he completely and totally expected getting one. So, it was only natural that he'd be surprised when a full day passed and he felt absolutely no change. He woke up the next morning the same as when he had fallen asleep. Shouldn't he have had a change of heart by now? What was going on? He couldn't overthink it though. Right now he needed to focus on getting ready for school. 

He walked out of his room and into the kitchen for breakfast. His dad had made breakfast for Yuuki and his sister, just like always. The two siblings ate together, just like always. His father left to the office to check for catering emails, just like always. His mom was watching the morning news, just like always. Yuuki listened while he ate, just like always. It was all the same. The same as always. Why wasn’t anything changing?

The news daily news stories were so boring. Even the caster sounded disinterested. Same old news as always. Everything was the same... Politics, weather, a tragedy...? "Early yesterday evening, a Shujin Academy student was found dead in an alley in Shibuya." The reporter said, as if he hadn’t just reported on the new penguins that were brought to the zoo. 

Yuuki froze in shock. A Shujin student? As if this year weren’t crazy enough. A suicide attempt, the Phantom Thieves, the volleyball coach coming forward about abusing his students, and now a death? He had heard word of frequent assaults in Shibuya, could it have something to do with those? There’d be another assembly for sure...

Yuuki’s mother immediately shut the program off and went over to hug her son. “Oh dear...” She said softly. “Yuuki, is it alright if I take you to school for awhile? And pick you up? And I know you like to go out at night, but I’d really rather you stay home...”

He couldn’t even be remotely annoyed. With everything happening at school lately, his mother had become slightly protective. And rightfully so. She spent over a year sending her son to school without knowing the hell that awaited him at practice, accepted every excuse he made for the bruises and injuries...the truth coming forward immediately after his teammate attempted suicide didn’t help. Yuuki couldn’t fight it. In fact, he somewhat liked it. The extra attention made him feel special. 

“If you want to take me to school, you can. We can go straight home after school, too. I should stay in and do more homework and studying anyways.” He smiled a bit despite himself, to reassure her that it would all be alright. 

His mother sighed in relief before turning to her younger child. “Kokoro, I want you to stay safe too. Your father can take you to and from school and practice.”

The young girl sighed softly. “Fine...but I still wanna hang out with my friends.” 

“As long as you aren’t out too late, it’ll be fine.” The woman gave both her children a kiss on the cheek. “We should get going! Kokoro, your father should still be in the office. Come on, Yuuki!”

The ride to the school was mostly silent. Yuuki had too much on his mind to make conversation. Why wasn’t his heart changed...? Who was this student that was found...? What happened to them...? His mind was spinning with questions, to the point he didn’t notice when his mother pulled up to the school until she called his name a couple times. “Sorry,” He muttered. “I just have a lot on my mind...seems like a lot is happening at school this year.” He attempted to force a smile so his mother wouldn’t worry, but it just didn’t come out right, and he surrendered the attempt. “I’ll see you after school. Thanks for giving me a ride.”

When he walked into class, his eyes immediately went to two of the desks by the window. Kurusu and Takamaki usuallly got to class well before him. Did it have to do with - no, he was overthinking things. It wasn’t related, they were just late, that’s all. He took his seat and tried not to think too hard, but his eyes kept falling on those two desks. Time passed slowly, it felt like hours rather than just minutes. Class would be starting soon. Kawakami would walk in any second. Still no sign of either of them. No one else i the class seemed to notice the two were gone. They all seemed more focused on the news story itself. 

“Who could have died? It seems a lot of people aren’t here today...it could be anyone...”

“I didn’t see Sakamoto this morning, do you think it was him?”

“What’s even happening in this school this year?”

Yuuki tried to ignore them as he stared at those two desks. Where could they be...?

“Alright, settle down.” Kawakami said as she walked into the classroom. “There’s an assembly today, so we’ll all be heading down to the gym.” The class was in an uproar within seconds. 

“Are they going to tell us who died?”

“I’m scared...my friend hasn’t answered her phone since last night...”

“This has to be some kind of prank...”

Yuuki didn’t care for any of it. He just had to keep reassuring himself that his classmates were okay, they weren’t dead, they just overslept, they were fine, everything’s okay...he told himself this as he walked to the gym, as he stood off to the side of the group, as the principal walked up to the podium. Silence fell over the room as the students waited to hear new they had already heard. 

“As many of you already know, a student from our very own school passed away recently,” Kobayakawa began. Yuuki watched in fearful anticipation. They’d likely release the name of the student... “The student was the second year transfer student, Akira Kurusu.” 

Yuuki felt as if the whole world stopped at that moment. He didn’t listen to the students muttering among each other, he didn’t listen to the rest of the assembly, he didn’t listen as teachers requested the students return to their classrooms. He couldn’t pay attention in class for the rest of the day. He didn’t notice the somber attitude that his classmates and teachers held throughout the rest of the day. He just stared blankly at those two desks. Takamaki and Sakamoto weren’t at school either... They probably were the ones that found him. It'd be safe to assume that they in questioning right now; it could be awhile before they got to return to school. Did they know what happened...? 

Near the end of the day, a thought came to him. The same day he got his calling card, the leader of the Phantom Thieves was found dead. The same day. The day his heart was supposed to be changed - it couldn’t be. He had no idea how the Thieves changed hearts, but it wasn’t dangerous... Was it...? It couldn't be. no, that wasn’t possible. If that was true, that would mean Kurusu died because of him. No. He wasn’t a killer. He would never kill anyone. Kurusu didn’t die because of him... Right?

Each day after that was a battle. Yuuki couldn’t sleep, eat, focus in class... All he could do was think about that one connection. He placed flowers on Kurusu’s desk on the second day after his death, and every day after class he would visit and just stare blankly at the spot where his classmate once sat. Could this really have been his fault...? Could he be the reason Kurusu was gone...?

“Mishima,” A classmate said on the third day of this ritual as he stood over the desk. “Were you close to him?” 

_ Was I? _Wasn’t that a great question. He wanted to be. He admired Kurusu so much. He was always so cool, calm, collected, and confident.. He was the opposite of everything Yuuki was. But his attempts at befriending him were met rather indifferently. That may had been Yuuki’s fault for leaking Kurusu’s record to the school... Yeah, Yuuki wouldn’t want to befriend himself either after that. And then there were the events leading up to his calling card. The day he snapped, the day threatened to leak the identities of the Phantom Thieves to the world... There was no way Kurusu would want to be his friend after that. So no, they weren’t close. So why was he here...?

“He never really got a chance to make a lot of friends here. Someone has to care,” he replied. That was the best excuse he could come up with, but he knew that wasn’t the only reason. He knew why he was visiting so much... He just refused to admit it out loud, or even think it for that matter. 

It was a full week and two days before Takamaki and Sakamoto returned to school. Nijima had been absent as well that past week, but came back along with them. Safe to assume she was with Kurusu when he passed as well, and would know what happened to him. Yuuki needed to ask them what happened. He needed to clear his conscience. He needed to know it wasn’t his fault. He waited until after class, and went over to Takamaki’s desk. 

“Hey, Takamaki... I know it might be tough to talk about but-”

“I can’t talk today,” Takamaki cut him off before he could finish his sentence. Anything that resembled the usual cheerful, fun, friendly Takamaki was gone. She seemed rather distant. She wasn’t even looking at Yuuki. “I... I have to get home.” She dashed out the classroom without so much as looking at him. Something felt off...

He didn’t have to look for Sakamoto. Their paths happened to cross at the top of the stairs, just his luck. “Sakamoto... I don’t know if this is appropriate now but...”

“What? You going to ask about my friend’s death too?” Sakamoto snapped. “Why don’t you keep your nose in your own damn business for once, Mishima.” He made his way down the stairs, turning briefly when he was about half way down. “If I hear you tryin’ to ask anyone else about this shit, I will make you regret it, got it?”

Yuuki could feel the malice coming from Sakamoto. His tone, the way he glared... That on top of the way Takamaki avoided him... There was no denying it. Akira Kurusu had died trying to change his heart. This was all his fault. He didn’t know how, but he killed his classmate. Just like at the assembly, everything shut down. He felt as if he wasn’t on the planet anymore. Everything blended together. He didn’t notice the way his classmates stared as he stumbled his way down the stairs, the voices calling him trying to get his attention, the people that glared and even shouted as he nudged past them... He couldn’t process any of it. It was like he was a robot on some kind of autopilot. He didn’t make any conversation with his mother when he got in the car, he wasn’t sure if she made any attempts either. He walked past his sister as she greeted him and made his way to his room, shutting the door behind him and just standing in the middle of it all. 

This broken, autopilot-like state wasn’t anything new for him. Even before the assembly, he experienced it. It was a coping mechanism he picked up in middle school. When the bullying got too harsh, he’d just shut out the world. Turn into this broken blank state...he used it as a defense mechanism from “practice” and punishments as well (though that state sometimes only made things worse). When the world got too much he’d just shut it out. He stood there in the middle of his room, staring blankly at the wall. Silent tears began to stream down his face as the world came back to him. 

_ Killer. Killer. Killer. Killer. _

The word played over and over again in his head.

_ Killer. Killer. Killer. Killer. _

He fell to the ground in a fit of sobs.

_ Killer. Killer. Killer. Killer. _

He couldn’t even deny it. He was a killer. He killed Kurusu. It was his fault. _ You’re a killer, Yuuki Mishima. Someone is dead because of you. His parents haven’t seen him for months and now they never will. His friends, his family, even his cat, they’re all suffering because of you. It’s all your fault. _

He cried for what felt like hours. He cried until every last tear had been pulled from his body, and then stayed curled up on the ground in dry, broken sobs. He stayed in that spot as he thought about the situation. What could he do? The remaining Thieves knew the truth...would they turn him in? Was it possible to link him back to the murder? What would happen to him? 

There had to be a way out. There had to be something he could do.

_ Get out. _

Those were the only words that came into his head.

_ Get out. Leave. Disappear. Never turn back. _

He struggled up and grabbed his school bag, dumping the contents onto the ground. He pulled his wallet from the pile and shoved it back into the bag. He began to grab the things he needed from his room: a few changes of clothes, some food from his snack stash, the extra cash he kept stored in his dresser... All shoved into his bag haphazardly. As he packed, he stopped at a photo on his desk. A family photo. Him, his parents, and his younger sister stood together, all smiling brightly. The summer sun shined down on them, almost seeming to smile along with them. The photo they took at Destinyland three years ago... That was when his sister started wearing blue extensions. “To match your hair!” She said. He stared at the photo a moment, thinking on his family...

His little sister was probably the only person in the world that admired him. Despite being far more talented and successful than he could ever hope to be, she saw him as some kind of superhero. From the day she could talk, all she could speak about was how amazing her big brother was. Some days, Yuuki wondered if Kokoro believed he put the stars and the moon in the sky by his own hand.

His mother was kind, gentle, and loving - but not delicate. She was strong, physically and emotionally. She would move mountains for her family, and probably could. She always supported Yuuki, no matter how much he struggled. Despite him never once mentioning his insecurities to her (it felt selfish and whiny to do such), she seemed to already know, and would find even the tiniest things to praise her son on. 

His father seemed intimidating on the outside, but in reality was a soft, shy man with more kindness in his heart than the whole world should be able to handle. He cooked almost every night to bring his family together for nice dinners, and taught his children to cook so they could one day do so for their families. He valued nothing on the planet more than the bonds of his family. 

Yuuki’s family was lovely. They’d miss him. He knew they would. And he’d miss them. He looked at the photo again, and moved to put it in his bag. _ No. _ He couldn’t do that. That’d tempt him to go back. He pulled the photo from its frame instead, and carefully tore himself out of the picture, throwing the part he ripped off into the garbage. He went back to his pile of school supplies, ripped a page from one of his notebooks, and grabbed a pen. “Forget about me,” he wrote in scrawling letters. He put the note on his desk, along with the now ripped photo. 

There was one last thing he needed to do before he left. He went to his laptop and opened the Phansite. The website he worked so hard on over the past few months. The website that had been the support for the now likely disbanded Phantom Thieves. It wasn’t needed anymore. They wouldn’t be changing anymore hearts. No one else would get help. And it was his fault. iHe went in and deleted everything in the code. He left the site with one simple message:

“I’m sorry.” 

No poll, no comments, nothing. Just those two words. 

He then took out his phone. He searched through the contacts on his messenger and pulled up Sakamoto’s information. The only other Phantom Thief he knew whose information he had. 

“I’m sorry. Tell Takamaki and Nijima and everyone else I’m sorry too.”

He sent the message, then threw his phone aside. Taking it was too risky. He put his laptop into his bag, zipped it shut, and picked it up. He turned to his room one last time before quietly sneaking out towards the front door. He paused in front of his sister’s room. The door was cracked, just like she always kept it. She was always a heavy sleeper...she wouldn’t notice if he went in there.

He pushed the door open and quietly went over to her bed. She was curled up with her favorite stuffed animal, the blue rabbit creatively named Usaoi that Yuuki won for her from a crane machine when they were kids. She looked peaceful...completely unaware of what she was going to wake up to. Yuuki sighed as he watched her for a moment. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Be strong Kokoro...” He felt his words catch in his throat, as if he might cry again. “I love you.” They never said that. Their love was always spoken in other ways. In gifts and box lunches and cheerful support in whatever the other did. But he felt he had to tell her for real one last time, while he still had the chance. 

Once he said his goodbyes to his sister, he walked out the front door. The rain pouring from the late night sky felt fitting for such an occasion... It actually made Yuuki laugh a bit. He should have brought an umbrella but if he was being honest, Yuuki didn’t care much if he got sick. He didn’t care much about anything anymore. He only cared about leaving. He didn’t know where he’d find himself, he didn’t know what he’d do from here on out. He just knew he had to disappear. He didn’t look back as he walked away from his home, from his family, from his life, and the sounds of the rain made a steady rhythm with the words in his head. 

_ Killer. Killer. Killer. Killer. _

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments are super appreciated!! Thank you!!


End file.
